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OkCupid Review: How Good Is One of the Oldest Dating Sites Today? - 12/2019

OkCupid 2019

Founded in 2004, OkCupid is one of the oldest dating sites on the Internet. It differs significantly from other online dating services in many respects– reason enough for us to test the site and introduce you to all the important features.

How is OkCupid different from the usual swiping apps like Tinder? Can you really meet interesting singles here?

If you’re not sure where to place OkCupid among to the many other dating apps and sites out there, reading our review will give you a clearidea whether OkCupid could work for you.

At the end of the article, we also share some tips and tricks that we found very helpful when dating on OkCupid.

1. Casual Sex or True Love – What Members Are Looking for on OkCupid

Looking around on OkCupid, one thing quickly becomes clear:

Most members of OkCupid are on the liberal side. Even plenty of polyamory enthusiasts can be found here.

You don’t know what polyamory is? No problem, we give you a little introduction below. In a nutshell: Polyamory is about having multiple romantic relationships at the same time.

One-night stands, friends with benefits or lifelong relationships – on OkCupid, you’ll find a mixed crowd. In addition, OkCupid is often used for no-strings-attached dating while traveling.

Getting to know each other while exploring a foreign city, flirting a bit and seeing where things lead... On OkCupid, anything is possible.

What does that mean for you?

If you can’t imagine a non-monogamous relationship and are exclusively looking for the love of your life, then you’ll probably have more success with eHarmony or EliteSingles.

On the other hand, if you’re interested in meeting people from other countries, enjoy a polyamorous lifestyle and/or don’t identify with the gender binary man/woman – then you should definitely give OkCupid a try.

Can you meet for casual sex through OkCupid?

Absolutely. On OkCupid, such requests aren’t a problem. On the contrary – the unique match system makes finding the right partner much easier.

We’ve compiled all the necessary dating tips for you in this article. Keep reading and try them for yourself.

Before we get into the subject in more detail, here are some facts about OkCupid at a glance:

  • OkCupid is one of the oldest dating sites on the Internet
  • The company is based in New York
  • Over half of all members come from the US and the United States
  • Over 91 million connections are made every year (according to OkCupid)
  • You can choose from 20 different gender options!
  • You can choose from 12 different sexual orientations!
  • Unique match system
  • You can message people even with the free subscription

The Pros and Cons of OkCupid at a Glance:

Pros

  • Making contacts and chatting with them is possible even with a free subscription
  • International site with members all over the world
  • All gender groups welcome and filterable
  • All sexual orientations welcome and filterable
  • Site and app are very user-friendly
  • All profiles have a picture

Cons

  • Profile pictures can take a long time to load in the app
  • Not all users are looking for a committed relationship

Are there good alternatives to OkCupid in the United States?

With personality test

EliteSingles belongs to the leading dating portals for educated and wealthy singles with high standards. The personality test helps thereby to find the right EliteSingles member for you.

Go to EliteSingles >>

Badoo has many active users around the world. Keep your eyes open while flirting: you will most likely find suitable members nearby

Go to Badoo >>

Nothing special

eHarmony was the first serious online matchmaking company with a laser-sharp focus on creating happy heterosexual marriages.

Go to eHarmony >>

2. Can You Make Contacts for Free on OkCupid?

If you want to use OkCupid for free, you may be surprised to find that the free version actually has a lot to offer. Here’s what you can do with a basic account:

  • Like members
  • Contact members
  • Read messages
  • After a mutual like, you can exchange unlimited messages

In addition to the free and somewhat limited subscription, there are two premium subscription options available.

OkCupid’s Costs at a Glance

OkCupid A-List Basic Membership

All the benefits of A-List Basic Membership:

  • See who liked you
  • More filtering options, such as “Figure” and “Attractiveness”
  • Unlimited likes
  • Read receipts
  • No ads

Costs

  • 6 months: $7.99 / month
  • 3 months: $11.99 / month
  • 1 month: $15.99 / month

OkCupid A-List Premium Membership

All the benefits of A-List Premium:

  • Your profile is promoted during the busiest times (boost)
  • See responses from other members even if you haven’t answered the question yourself
  • More attractive matches

Costs:

  • 6 months: $19.99 / month
  • 3 months: $24.99 / month
  • 1 month: $29.99 / month

Boost on OkCupid – Get Seen More Often, Get More Likes

Which profiles you see on OkCupid isn’t entirely dependent on your search. If you boost your profile, you’ll get higher rankings.

What does that mean?

When you purchase the boost option, your profile is shown to others more often, and your chances of getting a like increase!

Here’s the cost breakdown:

  • 10 boosts: $1.89 per boost
  • 5 boosts: $2.19 per boost
  • 1 boost: $2.99 per boost

OkCupid accepts payment via PayPal or credit card.

OkCupid

3. Joining the OkCupid Dating Fun! Everything You Need to Know

3.1 Registration with OkCupid Is Fast and Easy

After the usual entry of your email and password, OkCupid asks for a picture of you. Without a picture, your profile will not be displayed to other members. Following this step, you have to answer at least 15 questions.

Don’t like one of the questions?

No problem. Simply skip the question. There are plenty of alternative questions to choose from.

Transparent and Honest – Link Accounts on OkCupid

You and your partner are polyamorous and both want to use OkCupid? As we already mentioned: Those who identify as poly will love how accommodating OkCupid is.

Although OkCupid doesn’t offer a couple’s profile, you can link your profiles to each other.

Here’s how:

In your profile settings, click on the option “Add: Relationship type” on the top right. A single window appears.

In the Status field, select either “Seeing Someone” or “Married.“

Once you select your relationship status, the option “Link accounts” appears in blue.

Click on the link to enter the username of the profile you’d like to link.

Link Your Instagram and Facebook with OkCupid

When you link your Facebook to OkCupid, you can use your Facebook login data for OkCupid as well. Don’t worry: Your Facebook information is not disclosed to other members on your OkCupid profile.

When you link OkCupid to your Instagram, your photos will appear in your OkCupid profile. We’ll touch on this more later.

3.2 Your Profile Text – The Effort Is Worth It!

You’ve already answered some questions and think your profile text isn’t that important?

Don’t make this mistake. Just like on (almost) all other dating sites, you should include an appealing profile text on OkCupid.

Sure, but...

You don’t know what to write? No problem. Copying is allowed. Which films do you like? What goal are you working toward right now? What would you do if money weren’t an object? OkCupid offers plenty of profile questions to get you started.

Don’t neglect your profile picture.

You should appear optimistic, natural and easygoing. The more approachable you seem on OkCupid, the better.

3.3 The OkCupid App vs the Website – Get Dates Anywhere

The design of OkCupid is extremely modern, minimalist and well-organized. All links are clearly visible, and the app is equally user-friendly as the website.

Is the app free?

Yes, the app is available free of charge for both Android and iPhone. Simply type in “OkCupid” in the search engine of your choice, and you’ll immediately find the service.

Is it worth using the app?

Again, a clear yes.

Why?

For one thing, OkCupid allows you to like and message other members even with a free subscription.

In addition, the app offers the same features as the OkCupid website. Like, chat and arrange dates all while lying on the couch – the OkCupid app makes it possible. Give it a try!

The downside of the app: Profile pictures can sometimes take a long time to load.

3.4 Polyamory – What the Hell Is That?

“Non-monogamy” and “Open to non-monogamy” are descriptions you can find on many OkCupid profiles. According to OkCupid’s statistics, the number of people living a non-monogamous lifestyle is rising steadily.

What exactly does that mean?

We’re here to explain. Take the following example:

Lisa and Michael have been a committed couple for five years. They live together and love each other, but recently their relationship has been rocky. How come?

Lisa lost her job eight weeks ago and being unemployed has been hard for her. She longs for attention and affection from Michael.

Michael, on the other hand, was promoted four months ago. He’s now the leader of a 12-person team. He barely has any free time lately, including for Lisa.

What now?

Michael admits to himself that his job is more important to him right now.

In the meantime, Lisa has been regularly hanging out with her good friend Tom for two weeks now. He’s helping her with her job applications and has been comforting her. Even though she loves Michael, she’s becoming increasingly frustrated with him.

She likes Tom very much and could imagine being more than just friends with him. She even knows that he feels the same, but…

Relationships have to be monogamous, right?

As this example clearly shows: Monogamous one-on-one relationships sometimes demand a great deal of sacrifice from both partners. Neither Lisa nor Michael are to blame for the crisis. They’re merely at two different stages in their lives and experiencing different needs accordingly.

Summing up the disadvantages of monogamous relationships:

  • All emotional and physical needs have to be met by one person. If this doesn’t happen over a longer period, partners are left unhappy.
  • Intimate relationships with other people are forbidden, which can be especially limiting for those who are bisexual.
  • Relief from the relationship obligations is hardly possible.

Is Polyamory a Better Alternative?

Those who are polyamorous feel and define love differently. People living this lifestyle often identify with statements like the following:

  • I strive for long-lasting relationships.
  • The person I love should be free and happy.
  • I believe that you can love more than one person at the same time.
  • Intimate relationships with other people are allowed as long as they’re open and honest. (Lies and secret affairs are strongly frowned upon in polyamorous circles.)
  • A happy relationship isn’t defined by mandatory monogamy but by constantly making the renewed decision to spend life together.

Still, it should be noted that polyamory requires a high degree of self-reflection and honesty. There are also many couples who identify as polyamorous and condone intimate relationships with others but rarely end up acting on this possibility.

Did we spark your curiosity? A quick search on Google can tell you more.

Or even better – use your next date to get more insights into this different perspective on love. Have fun!

Bottom Line

Making contacts, reading messages and unlimited chatting for free – hardly any other dating site offers this. With OkCupid, you’re in the hands of an extensive dating service. The match system actually makes relevant suggestions. The clean design of the OkCupid app and the numerous filtering options are an added bonus.

OkCupid’s Biggest Strength

Hardly any other site is as flexible and international as OkCupid. The member areas aren’t separated by countries like on eHarmony or Zoosk. You’re looking for a date in New York, London, or Paris?

No problem!

You’re bisexual and don’t want to settle for a particular gender?

Also no problem on OkCupid. Simply adjust your search settings, and you’ll find what you’re looking for!

Are there dating app alternatives to OkCupid in the United States? Here are our other top apps.

With personality test

EliteSingles belongs to the leading dating portals for educated and wealthy singles with high standards. The personality test helps thereby to find the right EliteSingles member for you.

Go to EliteSingles >>

Badoo has many active users around the world. Keep your eyes open while flirting: you will most likely find suitable members nearby

Go to Badoo >>

Nothing special

eHarmony was the first serious online matchmaking company with a laser-sharp focus on creating happy heterosexual marriages.

Go to eHarmony >>

4. We Put OkCupid’s Match System to the Test

You’re familiar with the match systems of other sites? OkCupid is different!Why? Because on OkCupid, you alone decide which traits are important in your prospective matches.

How does this work?

OkCupid offers a database of over 4,000 questions on the subjects lifestyle, ethics, sexuality and more.

When you answer a question, you can also determine what answers your dating partner should give.

What else?

You can also specify how important the right answer is to you. (A little, somewhat, very)

What does that do?

Take a look at the example in the picture. The question was: How often are you open with your feelings?

We answered the question with “Usually.” In addition, we selected that we’d prefer not to be matched with someone who answered this question with “Never.”

How does this affect your match result?

OkCupid displays your match result as a percentage from 0% to 100%. The more questions another person answers according to your specifications, the higher this number will be.

Our tip:

We’d all like to avoid pointless dates, right? OkCupid offers several important questions that allow you to easily find out whether you and a fellow member are on the same wavelength.

Some examples?

Do you want your next relationship to be monogamous? How long should your next relationship last? One night, a few months or a lifetime? Do you want children? Are you into SM or BDSM? Are drugs a no-go for you?

Answer these questions and rate how important they are to you. This way, you can be sure that profiles with a high match percentage are actually a good fit for you.

5. Are There Fake Profiles and Scammers on OkCupid?

The statement from OkCupid on the subject of fake profiles is clear: “We do not tolerate any kind of fake accounts on OkCupid.”

OkCupid regularly invites members to help review flagged photos. And with good results: During our tests, we didn’t come across a single fake profile on OkCupid!

Report Contacts and Block Profiles – Is That Possible?

Next to the match percentage, you’ll find three small dots on every profile. When you click on the dots, a menu opens that gives you the option to either block or report the profile.

You can also find this menu in the chat window. This means you can block someone on OkCupid any time. Once someone is blocked, they can also no longer see your profile. That creates trust.

Are There Verifications on OkCupid?

No. You neither have to enter your phone number nor confirm your identity in any way. This means these sorts of verifications don’t exist for other profiles either.

Isn’t that dangerous?

Maybe. But almost any system can be tricked. The more important thing is that the community on OkCupid seems surprisingly honestly and authentic. See for yourself!

Our takeaway: You don’t have to worry about fake profiles on OkCupid. But like every other dating site, OkCupid advises its members to be cautious:

  • Never give out your personal information without prior vetting.
  • Never give strangers money.
  • Break off contact immediately if you’re being offered suspicious services.

Alternatives to OkCupid in the United States:

With personality test

EliteSingles belongs to the leading dating portals for educated and wealthy singles with high standards. The personality test helps thereby to find the right EliteSingles member for you.

Go to EliteSingles >>

Badoo has many active users around the world. Keep your eyes open while flirting: you will most likely find suitable members nearby

Go to Badoo >>

Nothing special

eHarmony was the first serious online matchmaking company with a laser-sharp focus on creating happy heterosexual marriages.

Go to eHarmony >>

6. Getting Exciting Dates: Our Hands-On Experience with OkCupid + Tips for More Success

OkCupid offers two ways to meet people:

  • Find members through the member search
  • Like members through the match system

6.1 The Member Search and Filter Settings

The OkCupid filter settings are extremely comprehensive and leave nothing to be desired. Height, appearance, origin, religion, relationship expectations, smoker/nonsmoker… All these can be easily filtered for.

Do you like to dance? Should your future partner also like dancing?

On OkCupid, you can even filter members by their answers. To do this, select “Questions” from the filter menu. In the search box, enter “dance” and click on the question “Do you like to dance?” Then select the desired answer.

You can search for people who like to cook, etc. the same way.

Relaxed Scrolling with DoubleTake

20 member profiles at a glance are too many? Then you may be interested in the new DoubleTake feature.

What makes this special?

With DoubleTake, OkCupid only shows you one profile at a time so you can get an in-depth look. All pictures and the full profile text are displayed.

Do your search settings still apply?

Yes and no. Based on our experience with OkCupid, advanced search settings don’t work with DoubleTake. However, the main search settings (gender, age and distance) are still applied.

Discovery – See More Profiles, Get Dates Faster

OkCupid Discovery lets you see members in a convenient overview. The sorting takes place based on top matches or shared interests.

The OkCupid Chat

Based on our OkCupid experience, members enjoy using the chat feature. Probably in part because the chat on OkCupid is so well integrated. Once you like a user, you can immediately write him or her one (!) message. If the person likes you back, you can message each other freely.

Why is that good?

You don’t have to wait for a like the way you do on Tinder, for example. By limiting the initial contact to one message, OkCupid prevents its members from being harassed.

6.2 OkCupid Dates – How to Be Successful

Your Profile

As with many other dating sites, your profile makes or breaks your success on OkCupid. The OkCupid team wants to make creating a profile as easy as possible and has published a blog post to help. Here are their tips:

Tip 1

Upload more photos. Having a variety of photos gives members who visit your profile a better impression of you. Be sure to include some pictures of your hobbies.

Tip 2

Caption your photos. This lets fellow members know what they’re looking at. A random picture of a mountain generates little enthusiasm. But if you label your picture: “Mount Ngauruhoe in the United States. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to throw a ring into the fire,” you have a good conversation starter for the first message.

Tip 3

Do spelling errors bother you? Whether you believe it or not, 75% of members on OkCupid answer this question with “yes.” Tip number three reads as follows: Give your profile text a spell check.

Tip 4

Update your profile regularly. In their blog post, the OkCupid editorial team states that a regularly updated profile gets better rankings than those that haven’t been edited in a year.

Tip 5

Do you do volunteer work or support a charitable organization? If yes, write about it on your profile. Findings show that people are drawn to those who are passionate about same causes they are.

Tip 6

Link your profile to your Instagram. Statistics show: OkCupid profiles that are linked to an Instagram account are messaged twice as often.

Why? Our OkCupid experience showed that it was easier to find something to talk about this way.

Tip 7

This one’s a little strange, but according to OkCupid, pictures taken in the late afternoon receive more likes than other pictures. Who knows why?

6.3 Get the Most Out of OkCupid: Here’s How!

OkCupid places high value on tolerance. Members accept the fact that people want different things. Rather than judging each other, everyone simply finds their niche.

What does that mean for you? Be sure to make it clear on your profile what you’re looking for. How? By answering the corresponding questions.

By the way…

Do you know the meaning of the terms hookups, short-term dating and long-term dating? No? Here’s a tongue-in-cheek explanation:

  • Hookups = sex now but you don’t talk
  • Short-term dating = sex pretty quickly + talk
  • Long-term dating = starts off with a whole lotta talk

 

OkCupid

6.4 Meeting for Casual Sex on OkCupid

Hookups and short-term dating are the magic words for anyone looking for one-night stands on OkCupid. In the app, you can find this setting under:

Your profile > “My ideal person” > “Connections”

Choose the option “hookup” and search for other people who are looking for something similar.

The Magic Formula for One-Night Stands on OkCupid

Step 1:

Find the right partner. Look for the following three replies on his or her profile:

  • Say you’ve started seeing someone you really like. As far as you’re concerned, how long will it take before you have sex? (Best answer for hot dates: “1-2 dates”)
  • Could you date someone with no long-term goals? (Best answer: “Yes”)
  • About how long do you want your next relationship to last? (Best answer: “One night”)

This is a must!

Of course, you have to answer these questions before you can see the responses of other members. One exception is with the A-List Premium subscription. With this subscription, you can view responses from other members without having to answer the questions yourself.

Step 2:

Like the person and write a short intro. The intro is important because members with free accounts can’t see likes without an intro. For the intro, reference something you have in common and keep it short. Here’s an example:

“Hey, I just stumbled across your profile and think your pictures are awesome! I also enjoy going to the gym/movie theater.”

If you receive a positive message shortly after, you can be sure that your profile has also aroused interest. Now it’s time to ask for a date. Again, less is more!

“Would you like to grab coffee or a drink tomorrow night?”

Why the next day?

Easy: One-night stands take preparation. Grooming, cleaning the apartment, possibly throwing a favorite item of clothing into the wash. Before you know it, the day’s gone by.

Why not the day after that?

Because then the chance increases that unnecessary misunderstandings arise via chat. In our experience, many people feel obligated to spend the two days talking. But spontaneous sex is still the best. No beating around the bush, no time for reservations or cancelations. Meet, flirt, see if the chemistry is right, and then there’s only one question left: My place or yours? ??

6.5 Friends with Benefits on OkCupid

Being friends with benefits falls more into the category “long-term dating.” Still, even this kind of relationship begins with a first date, and in the best-case scenario, with a first night.

Our tip:

If you’re interested in being friends with benefits, feel free to choose “short-term dating” as an interest on your profile as well. We covered how that works earlier in this article.

Why?

No one knows at first whether a first date will lead to a second one. This means short-term dates are just as interesting for you.

Great!

When looking for a friends-with-benefits relationship, you can again look at the answers to the questions above. This way, you’ll learn what makes your counterpart tick.

6.6 Finding a Partner for Life on OkCupid

In addition to casual hookups, many OkCupid members are interested in finding long-term love.

It’s definitely worth giving it a try. On OkCupid, you can get in touch with other members for free, so you have nothing to lose.

Also important...

Include the following text on your profile:

“I don’t have an A-List subscription, so I can’t see likes. But I’m happy to respond to messages. If you have a paid subscription and I don’t, I’ll pay for our first date.” ??

Why bother with this?

Because members with a paid subscription often aren’t aware that members with a free subscription can’t see likes. In addition, many people think that a profile-like is a sufficient sign of interest and don’t follow up with a message. By including this hint, you create clarity and make a nice offer at the same time.

6.7 Friendships and Pen Pals – Don’t Miss Out!

One of our test subjects wanted to know what happens when you set the “Location” to “anywhere” in the member search. As a result, she received an incredible number of likes from all over the world within a few days.

You think that’s pointless?

Some likes were indeed a mistake because the members didn’t pay attention to the location of our test subject. However, others messaged her back, and an exciting email exchange ensued.

For a little under seven months, our test subject has been writing to a man from France and a Canadian woman living in the United States.

Where do you think she’ll spend her next vacation?

If you’re interested in other cultures and like to think outside the box, then you’re sure to get lucky on OkCupid.  We found most members on OkCupid to be unusually open-minded and curious.

We wish you lots of fun and exciting encounters on OkCupid!

The most important alternatives to OkCupid in the United States.

With personality test

EliteSingles belongs to the leading dating portals for educated and wealthy singles with high standards. The personality test helps thereby to find the right EliteSingles member for you.

Go to EliteSingles >>

Badoo has many active users around the world. Keep your eyes open while flirting: you will most likely find suitable members nearby

Go to Badoo >>

Nothing special

eHarmony was the first serious online matchmaking company with a laser-sharp focus on creating happy heterosexual marriages.

Go to eHarmony >>

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